Representative Steve “King of Lies” was caught on camera last night using black magic to puppeteer ill-formed homunculus Ted Cruz in front of a horrified crowd. Sources have claimed that the ritual which animated Cruz is losing its power, forcing the King of Lies to stay close to his unholy creation to keep it from coming apart at the seams.
King’s strategy of bathing the Cruz abomination in the blood of murdered children has allowed him to win the Iowa primary with his mindless construct, however many feel he is approaching a point where no number of slaughtered orphans can hold his unholy creation together.
Rival sorcerers in the Trump and Carson camps have been critical of the the homunculus’s lax, putty-like flesh and the vile and senseless gibberish it spouts. Some even whisper that King has lost the favor of bat-winged demigod Nyarlahotep and will soon be devoured. Despite her own Golemgate scandal, Democratic Lich Queen Hillary Clinton has publicly denounced King’s arcane construct as an affront before the eyes of Yaweh, and demanded the apparition be banished to the nether plane from whence it came.
Feeling the heat of bipartisan criticism and the infernal fires of hell, Representative King has announced plans to animate a replacement Cruz out of pig and horse carcasses directly after the primary.
Hideous!