IMPORTANT NOTE, I WOULD PERSONALLY SKIP THE FIRST COUPLE HOURS OF THE STREAM, NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS.
When my stepfather sent out a thanksgiving invite which proudly anounced he was going to smoke “The juicest dick you’ve ever seen” I snickered and assumed he’d meant to write “duck.” I was wrong. I arrived to thanksgiving and the centerpiece was a nude black man standing on the dining room table wearing a feathered headdress sporting a sizable erection. After the most uncomfortable grace I can remember in my life, my stepfather mounted the table and began to fellate the black man with obvious gusto. I was trying to think of an excuse to leave when he lifted me up by the shoulders and placed me in front of the negro. He grabbed a clump of my hair and then forced me to perform oral sex on a nine inch black dick until I was choking and sputtering, which unfortunately caused the negro to become excited and thrust even harder. Without warning he yelled out “BLACK LIVES MATTER!” and my cheeks were suddenly bulging with an unfathomable amount of ejaculate! I tried to choke it down but it was impossible and pearly white jism sprayed from my battered lips to spatter all over my shocked family. Immediately I was met with shouts of outrage for “wasting the gravy” and my family demanded I leave the table. I got in my car and wept in the driveway and received several texts castigating me for ruining thanksgiving. I can now see my family through the window eating dinner with the negro as I am trying to summon the courage to turn the car key and drive home alone.
It’s time for another LRH RAP CONTEST! This time we’re changing it up a bit:
$100 PRIZE sponsored by the l0de radio hour foundation
How to enter:
- PICK ONE OF THREE INSTRUMENTALS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST AND RAP ABOUT DONALD TRUMP.
- UPLOAD YOUR FILE TO SOUNDCLOUD AS A PRIVATE LINK. DON’T HAVE NUDITY ON YOUR SOUNDCLOUD PAGE OR YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED. DON’T CHANGE IT LAST SECOND TO FUCK WITH ME EITHER, I’M PREVIEWING THESE OFF AIR BEFORE SHOWING THEM YOU SNEAKY FUCKS.
- EMAIL YOUR LINK TO l0de at l0de dot com. If you don’t get a response tweet @l0de or mesage l0de on discord.gg/hiphop or message l0de on EFnet
- YOUR ENTRY IS NOT VALID UNLESS YOU GET CONFIRMATION FROM ME. I WILL ACCEPT ENTRIES UNTIL 5PM EST ON 9/30. IF YOU ARE LATER THAN THAT THERE IS NO GUARANTEE YOUR TRACK WILL MAKE IT IN. IF YOUR TRACK IS TOTAL GARBAGE, I’M NOT TAKING IT. PUT SOME EFFORT IN, THIS IS FOR $100
- THE SHOW WILL AIR ON at http://www.youtube.com/l0de/live at 8pm EST on 9/30
- You must use one of the three instrumentals provided. You can mix them and chop them up and add samples but your submission CANNOT BE more than 2:05 in length and if it’s unrecognizable you will be DQ’d. If you do a shorter rap, please cut out the rest of the track and fade it out.
- As many people as you want can rap on a track however I only pay one prize of $100 to whoever sent me the link. You MUST get in touch with me within 14 days to claim your rap money. LRH has a prompt history of paying winners FAST.
- You can rap anti-trump, pro-trump, or neither but TRUMP must be a solid theme in your track
- You can include any lyrical content you want in your tracks. Welcome to AMERICA.
- Your track must be submitted as a private soundcloud link and confirmed before 5pm EST on 9/30. Don’t spread your track before the show, you will get DQ’d.
This contest will be JUDGED by a triumvirate of THREE JUDGES scoring each track from 1-10 points. Judges are scoring based on the following: Flow, Originality, Technical Ability, Cleverness and Humor. For fairness’ sake, we are including one pro-trump judge, one anti-trump judge, and one judge that just doesn’t give a fuck. I make no promises this will be fair, but we are making an effort. Contestants are highly encouraged to cry about the judging like some little bitches.
IN THE EVENT OF A TIE ON POINTS, L0DE RAY DIO WILL DETERMINE A WINNER. IF BOTH TRACKS ARE EQUALLY GOOD, I MAY CALL A TIE, WHERE EACH WINNER GETS $50.
RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE AS
YA’LL READY FOR THAT ｓｈｒｅｋｗａｖｅ
Shrekwave is a hot new TEEN SENSATION created by Ott. For the 7/29 contest we’re challenging everyone to take the master on at his own game.
FOR A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR PRIZE!!!
THE CONTEST WILL AIR ON SATURDAY 7/29 AT 8PM EST. THE DEADLINE FOR TRACK SUBMISSIONS IS 11:59PM EST ON FRIDAY, 7/28!
We will broadcast on the LRH LIVE YOUTUBE OR TWITCH CHANNEL DEPENDING ON WHAT ISN’T BANNED, AND IN http://www.discord.gg/hiphop
For reference here is the original track, SPINAL CRACK
Your entry must be no longer than 150 seconds in length. If your track is super short, you may get cut.
You MUST sample the move Shrek in a way that is audible and recognizable. When you submit, you must include the TIME in the movie your sample is drawn from so we can play that bit before your track. If you sample from all over the movie, pick the funniest part.
You must get the track to me by 7/29 at 6PM EST -NOTE THIS HAS BEEN EXTENDED DUE TO OUR COUNTDOWN CLOCK SUCKING A DICK – . Entries must be emailed to L ZERO D E AT L ZERO D E DOT COM that’s l0de at l0de . com as always your entry is NOT accepted until I confirm it, if I don’t respond back hit me up on irc\twitter\discord
You must submit your finished track as a soundcloud link
Keep this shit upbeat people
Other than that, go hog wild. You can sample anything else if you want. You can rap on your track. You can do whatever the fuck you want, it’s your swamp. I reserve the right to disqualify anything I think sounds godawful and there are only 16 SLOTS for this contest, so get your beat in ASAP.
I WILL PAY THE PRIZE VIA PAYPAL. CHECK WITH PREVIOUS CONTEST WINNERS, LRH PAYS THAT MONEY FAST. NOT A SCAM(TM).
RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE AS
Get ready for CHAT RAPS IV – BEAT CONTEST!
A $50 or LARGER prize will be given to the BEST BEAT. If the pot is over $100, second and third place will be awarded.
Voting will be by CALL-IN as in previous CHAT RAPS contests. Remember if I don’t know you, you can’t vote. However ALL BEAT CREATORS can and should call in to vote for themselves. A special FAN FAVORITE prize will be awarded to the beat with the most FIRE VOTES in discord.
RULES AND REGULATIONS:
- THE DEADLINE FOR BEAT SUBMISSIONS IS 11:59PM EST ON JUNE 30TH, 2017. AFTER THAT ENTRIES ARE NOT GUARANTEED TO BE INCLUDED.
- TO ENTER A SONG, EMAIL A SOUNDCLOUD LINK TO L0DE AT L0DE.COM THAT’S L ZERO D E, FUCK THIS FONT.
- IF YOU DO NOT GET A CONFIRMATION EMAIL, YOUR ENTRY IS NOT ACCEPTED, HASSLE L0DE ON TWITTER OR IRC TO MAKE SURE HE GOT IT.
- YOUR SONG MUST BE 120 SECONDS OR LESS
- YOUR SONG MUST INCLUDE A SAMPLE FROM SKEETER DAVIS – THE END OF THE WORLD AND\OR JERRY BUTLER – NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP. YOU CAN SAMPLE BOTH SONGS
- SAMPLING RICK ASTLEY AND MIXING IT WITH JERRY BUTLER IS OBVIOUS AND IF YOU DO IT I HATE YOU.
- I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SHITCAN ANY ENTRIES I THINK ARE TOO WACK TO PLAY.
- PAYOUT WILL BE VIA PAYPAL. YES I ACTUALLY DO PAY MONEY. PREVIOUS CONTEST WINNERS WHO CAN VOUCH FOR ME INCLUDE: CANADA420, VAP0R, POCCRI, BOB THE BOTANIST, EP, SXYNTH.
HERE ARE THE SONGS:
THERE IS A NEW LRH CONTEST ON FRIDAY 6/9/2017!
This is a special COMBO CONTEST where you can either submit
- A song under 120 seconds in length about the l0de radio hour
- A video intro for the l0de radio hour
- BOTH as a single video.
Your video should be a dope INTRO for the L0de radio hour, efnet’s LONGEST RUNNING Friday night conspiracy call-in show. You can check out previous LRHS on our youtube channel here. Feel free to use old show footage, asciis, samples, any creative shit you want to do to make the most amazing possible intro.
Vap0r’s Unh is below, a ready made beat you are free to use to make your song. As always I will start the prize pool with $25 in each category, which is sure to increase as the contest draws nearer.
VIDEO CONTEST: $25
SONG CONTEST: $25
RULES AND REGULATIONS:
- You must submit your file as either a soundcloud or youtube link. Email to l0de ( AT ) l0de dot com. Your submission is NOT accepted until I email you back. Feel free to message me on IRC\twitter\what the fuck ever to bother me to ack your submission. I will not say accepted until I have reviewed your file and put your name in our spreadsheet.
- Your file must be no longer than 120 seconds, feel free to submit a shorter file.
- Your submission can’t include copyrighted audio, or nudity \ giant fucking swastikas \ other shit that will get me banned from twitch.tv. I know, it fucking sucks. Hopefully someday all the prudes will die.
- Video files should be 1920×1080 at 30fps, square pixels. Audio files should be rendered at at least 256kb mp3, and enable downloading in soundcloud.
- FOR THIS CONTEST: YOU CAN USE AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU WANT FOR YOUR VIDEO, but each person who was involved must be credited in the submission email you send me.
- Submissions are DUE by 11:59 PM THURSDAY JUNE 8th, if your file is fucked or whatever hit me up for an extension but it is NOT GUARANTEED.
- As always voting will be done by LRH REGULARS ONLY but if you enter a track or a video, you can and should call in and vote for yourself. I determine whether or not you are a regular.
IF YOU WIN I WILL USE YOUR VIDEO EVERY WEEK AS THE LRH INTRO UNTIL EVERYONE IS SICK OF IT!!!!!!
Here is the suggested instrumental, note you can use ANY audio for your shit, just make sure it isn’t copyrighted:
vap0r – Unh (RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE AS TO DOWNLOAD)
Round 3 of the LRH Rap contest CHAT RAPS will air FRIDAY MAY 19TH STARTING AT 10 PM NYC TIME
The show will air at http://www.twitch.tv/l0de
if we get banned there or to see old shows go to http://www.youtube.com/l0de
PRIZE AS OF 5/8 IS $325, this is subject to increase!
The theme this week is “AN ACCIDENT”
As always interpret that however you want.
HERE IS THE INSTRUMENTAL:
vap0r_AN_ACCIDENT <—- RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE AS TO SAVE THE MP3
HOW TO APPLY AND CONTEST RULES READ ALL OF THIS SHIT OR YOU WILL LOSE AND DIE IN REAL LIFE AND YES THAT IS A DEATH THREAT!!!
- To apply record yourself rapping over the instrumental above.
- Do not edit the instrumental to make it longer, add more bars, etc. You can add samples or mute the track in places if needed. Your final file must be the same length as that track 2:12.
- TO SUBMIT YOUR RAP EMAIL A SOUNCLOUD OR YOUTUBE LINK TO L ZERO D E AT L ZERO D E DOT COM. Do not consider your rap submitted unless you get a REPLY BACK FROM ME saying it’s submitted. Hound my ass on twitter, irc, murder me in real life, whatever it takes. If you don’t get a confirmation from me your track is NOT SUBMITTED.
- Submit your track as a SOUNDCLOUD or YOUTUBE link. Be careful, it’s possible your file may get region locked or deleted if you use copyrighted samples. Try not to do that.
- The DEADLINE for rap submissions is 11:59PM NEW YORK TIME on MAY 18th 2017. In some rare cases I wall accept re-uploads after this date to fix fucked up soundfiles etc but it is not guaranteed.
The voting for this rap contest is as follows:
- ONLY REGULAR LISTENERS OF LRH and people who submit songs can vote. A regular listener is designated as someone I, l0de ray dio recognize. Only I can make this determination, and I will try to be fair with it. If you want to be recognized as a regular listener, listen to the show, call in sometimes, and chat in #LRH on efnet
- If you submitted a song you CAN and SHOULD call in to vote for yourself. Feel free to talk shit on everyone else when you do.
- To vote you MUST both call in to the show, identify yourself and type !rappername in either twitch chat or IRC. This week we are not taking ANY VOTES WITHOUT CALLS, with the exception of Kongfuzi maybe since he put up a ton of money.
- I will announce the poll close time at the start of the show and we will try to stick to it, but I don’t promise I can. The show is crazy as fuck.
- If there is a TIE when voting ends, I cast the tiebreaking vote. I won’t hesitate to vote for my own shit either if I think it’s better, so don’t leave it up to the judges. Go for the knockout.
- ONCE YOU VOTE, YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR VOTE AND WE WILL KEEP TRACK OF WHO VOTED FOR WHAT.
- The CHAT RAPS prize pool is funded by listeners pledging into a prize pool. There is NO entry fee. The money is NOT guaranteed, in case a pledge does not make good. I will not make up for a pledge that doesn’t pay up out of my own money. My own pledge of $25 for each show is the only guaranteed money. However in every contest so far, all pledges have made good.
- This week we will award money for First, Second, and third place. Third Place is $25, Second place is $50, and First place is all the remaining money (currently $250)
- You MUST have a valid bitcoin wallet or paypal account to get paid. I am not writing any checks. Bitcoin is preferred. If for some reason I can’t contact you within 2 weeks to pay you, I am keeping the money and spending it on whores.
- POT SPLITTING is not allowed, and if I catch you doing it, you are disqualified
- If I get banned from twitch or the show is DDOSed or otherwise cancelled, we will try to do it at a later time. If for some reason we get cancelled entirely I will refund any pledges I can. If I get swatted I am keeping your money to pay for the shit the cops break.
HOW TO WIN THIS CONTEST:
It may seem daunting as an outsider to win this contest, since you’re trying to appeal to an insular group of crazy IRC autists. Here are a few helpful tips:
- LRH is primarily a comedy show and I would expect funny raps to do better
- People who submit their songs as lyric videos seem to get more votes
- Tracks that are correctly mixed get more votes. Pay attention to your vocal and track levels
- Check out some previous shows for tracks that have done well and to get a feel for what people like
- hop in #LRH on EFNET and get to know some of these magnificent chatters in their natural environment.
- feel free to do some creative shit, make a music video, whatever just keep it in the time limit
- have a GOOD TIME this is all for fun boys
THAT’S ALL THE RULES THAT I CAN THINK OF FUCK THIS IS COMPLICATED. Also I reserve the right to enter my own goddamn contest if I feel like it, I haven’t rapped since 1997 and do not expect to win. FEEL FREE TO COMMENT HERE IF YOU NEED CLARIFICATION OR WANT TO TALK SHIT.
I will be uploading the winning raps and the completed show ASAP but I want to congratulate the WINNERS:
RAP BATTLE: VAP0R WINS
ASCII CONTEST: L0DE WINS
EFFY VS MTW: MTW WINS EFFY IS BANNED
Shoutouts to everyone who participated the next one will be on MAY 19th 2017!
CURRENT PRIZES: $305 for the rap battle – $55 for the ASCII contest
The deadline for both contests is midnight, NYC time on May 4th, 2017.
The entries will be judged based on votes received from LRH listeners.
Only REGULAR LISTENERS are eligible to vote. This determination is made by l0de. If I don’t know you you can’t vote.
In the event of a TIE at the end of voting for either contest, l0de will cast the tiebreaking vote. I will otherwise abstain from voting.
ALL ENTRANTS are allowed and encouraged to vote for themselves. If you are an entrant, you are allowed to vote for yourself even if you are not a regular listener.
ALL VOTERS must both CALL THE SHOW and state their vote in IRC for their vote to be counted. There is ONE and only one exception to this rule, Kongfuzi, who put up $250 for the rap contest and who I think is some kind of mongo deaf-mute.
I plan to end voting at midnight, but circumstances may dictate that we need to close the polls a little later (like if we get a fuckton of entries).
ONCE A VOTE IS MADE YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR VOTE.
FOR THE RAP CONTEST: YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE LENGTH OF THE INSTRUMENTAL. Don’t add extra bars etc. If your entry is longer or shorter, you are disqualified.
I think that’s everything. I’ll try to run this as fairly as possible since there’s actual money involved. You should know: there is no guarantee everyone who pledged money into the pot will pay up, and if they don’t, that money will be subtracted, I will not make up the difference. I can only personally guarantee the $25 I have put into both pots. However I can guarantee that any money that I collect for the contest WILL be awarded to the winner. Check with vap0r the winner from last week if you want confirmation we pay up. Ask any questions below, I will update this post with any good qs.